Changing Gender Roles & Stereotypes – Fun Facts About My Marriage

Hello Friends,

Today I’m talking about gender roles, stereotypes and sharing a little bit about what goes on behind the scenes in our family. When you get to really know us, one of the things you’ll realize is that we’re not the “traditional” family. I believe that we are all unique and different therefore we are going to have diverse perspectives, beliefs  and attitudes about life, marriage, motherhood, health and wealth which is perfectly ok.

What are gender roles? They are expectations on how we’re supposed to think, speak, act, dress and conduct ourselves based upon our gender (male or female). For example, girls/women are generally expected to be polite, nice, soft, emotionally involved, accommodating, submissive and nurturing, while men are generally expected to be strong, aggressive, bold, dominating and emotionally detached.

Gender roles are generally influenced by family, immediate community, ethnic group, geographical area, religion and culture. These gender roles can therefore affect peoples choices, personality, behaviors, occupations, physical appearance etc. Also, gender roles leads to stereotypes (widely accepted bias about a person or group of people) and can lead to sexism (unequal and unfair treatment because on a person’s gender). In extreme situations gender roles and stereotypes become harmful because they don’t allow people to fully express themselves if they don’t fit into society’s expectations.

What gender roles and stereotypes have you heard?

What’s one thing you were told you couldn’t do or become because of you gender?

All my life I’ve heard so many statements of what a woman should or shouldn’t be. I have seen so many people try to control our choices and limit our potential as women because of gender roles which I don’t agree with.

I think the idea that we are supposed to be one way, prioritize just one thing, meet a specific standard or fit into a box created by other people is impossible and unhealthy.

We are complex beings and cannot be boxed, simplified or expected to act thesame way. We come in different shapes, sizes, colors, personalities and styles. We have different values, goals, passions and purpose which makes us beautiful in our own unique way. I believe that everyone can be and do what they choose as long as it doesn’t harm someone else.

Today, I’m sharing some facts about our marriage to show you how and the importance of breaking free from stereotypes and the limitations placed on us based on our gender.

1. Do what you love – Michael cooks 80% of the time, while I cook 10% of the time and the other 10% we order in or eat out. Most times people think it’s a woman’s job to cook and if she’s not cooking, then she doesn’t know how to which isn’t always the case. I’m a great cook just like Michael, but he actually enjoys cooking and I don’t, so he does most of the cooking.
2. Be authentic – When it comes to our finances and what we own, we have a mindset different from others who believe that the man needs to be the breadwinner to prove his manhood so whatever money the man makes is for their family but whatever money the woman makes is just her money. In our marriage we believe we’re partners in every aspect so whatever money we individually make or any debt we individually had is both our responsibility. It doesn’t mean we sit and split all things 50:50, it just means that we both take ownership of our family and support each other in every single way. We both contribute financially to continue to build our family, create generational wealth and invest in our community.
3. Focus on your strengths – When it comes to anything involving our homes (except decor), Michael is in charge. He’s more knowledgeable about it so I like to defer to him and rely on him to manage a lot of it although I occasionally give my input.
4. Focus on what you’re passionate in – When it comes to monitoring and managing our money it’s mostly me. I 100% manage our Investment Portfolio and although he may give me suggestions and I give him updates, I make all the money moves. Although I’m more of a risk taker than him, he still trusts that I’m doing my best for our family and is super supportive. So, he lets me shine in what I’m good at and love taking care of but supports me when needed.

So this goes to show you that despite what you’ve seen around on TV or heard growing up in your community, don’t let anyone limit you. You get to choose how to live your life and what role you play in your family. You have to do what works for you and your family, being authentic to yourself while being open to learning new things. You also get to decide your level of participation and role in your family based on what you want to accomplish and what type of lifestyle, marriage, partnership you want.

We are so much more than people say we are and that freedom to choose, is what I call free will, which we all have as men and women. So cheers to breaking free from gender role limitations and stereotypes by simply being the best of who God created you to be.

I hope you enjoyed reading this post and I hope it gave you some things to think about. For more details or to shop our outfits or home items, click HERE. Have a fabulous day!

xoxo

Chigi.